My Covid 19 exposure and self quarantine journal

Day 1 Saturday, March 14th 2020.

I woke up to sunshine today, a beautiful day with a forecast of 71 degrees after a week of rain. I checked my emails about midday and saw this in a subject line: Urgent Coronavirus Update from ........ I opened it, and a chill went through me. I volunteer at a local museum and was involved in a continuing education program for tour guides there. One of my classmates had gone home sick the previous Monday and was now hospitalized and being tested for Covid-19. That was it. End of message, aside from a promise of updates as soon as any were available. I was left with a sense of disbelief and dread.  My inner dialogue went something like this; "Unreal, what are the odds? Of course, I don't beat the astronomical odds to beat the lottery, but throw a burgeoning pandemic my way....." Then the questions start. "Who have I had contact with? Do I inform people before the test results come in? What can I do now?", and a thousand others. I realized that I had to inform those I had had close contact with, so they could limit their contact, but how far did that need to go and for how long? I knew 14 days was the self-quarantine but if the test came back negative, then I/we were free. I sent texts or called the people I needed to. It was an unpleasant experience. I felt somehow responsible like it was my fault this was happening to them. My left brain knew that logically I was a victim, but my right brain kept telling me I should have avoided any and all large gathering places, after all,  we knew how virulent this bug was. But at the time there were 9 known cases in all of Arizona, so what were the odds? I know now that there were a lot more than that, but because of the federal government's bungling, the testing process was way behind. My brain started fighting with itself again; "you could die from this at your age, you better make sure your affairs are in order". "You are in good shape for your age, you can beat this."  "What about my wife?" She is 9 years younger than me and still working full time in her career. "She can't go to the office Monday for sure, what next?" "If the test is positive, do I go get a test right away, or do I just continue self-quarantine for the 14 days?" And the questions, and brain fighting, continued. 

Day 2 Sunday, March 15th, 2020 coming soon.



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